It's hard to believe it's one year today, all I keep thinking about is this time last year she was with us, I keep getting flash backs of the joy she brought us when she was born, and then the heartbreak and pain in which we could not save her.
I somehow found comfort in the fact that she was with us this time last year, and I am petrified of the thought now that i can no longer say this as crazy as it may sound.
We should be getting ready for her first birthday party, but instead I am trying to find something that is weather proof to place on her grave, something I never thought I would be doing.
In my head I want everything perfect and why not, I am still a mother who wants the best for her children. The process in which all parents have to go through, the first of anything is the hardest but keeping in mind that she is watching over us all and growing on the other side some how brings me to a smile.
Would you believe I saw a red butterfly today, it made me think of her, but this time it was not white as I would always see, it was a bright red, I like to think that's a sign from her telling me she is growing, and that she is around us always.
Happy 1st birthday our darling Isabella, from mum, dad and your big brother Keelan xx